Chemoradiation - One More Day

. . . Removing My Last Training Wheel

Though I have one more day of radiation treatment to go, I thought I'd post this update today since 1) I have more time on my hands today ...and 2) because tomorrow will be no different than any other treatment day except that it's my very last.

I've spent the past 5 weeks taking two Xeloda chemo pills each morning after breakfast...(and I'd put off breakfast as long as I could because I did NOT relish the side effects of these nasty pills!). In the afternoon, I'd drive 30 minutes to the hospital for my radiation therapy. After dinner, I'd have to take 3 more Xeloda chemo pills. I did this regimin 5 days a week...and got to recuperate each weekend.

How was the radiation? Laying on the hard table with my arms over my head (holding onto two cold, steal handles), the table automatically slides into
a small tube that encircles the area to be treated. Then the radiation starts. I can hear the machine churning as it goes around my body throwing it's piercing rays through my abdomen and back. There's no feeling to this, however. As I lay there in the tube for the 5 minute treatment, I pray that this will be the very last treatment I'll ever need to have. I pray that this cancer never returns. The side effect from the radiation are minimal but enough to keep me homebound as it affected the intestinal tract and stomach. In the evening, my stomach would feel like it had been tied in a knot and the build up of gas was enough to blow the paint off the walls. (Okay...I didn't want to go that far...but if someone going through this is looking for info, they may want to know that their side effects are a normal part of this treatment).

How was the Xeloda chemo? The side effects from these pills are cumulative. In the beginning, I experienced headaches, nauseousness, moodiness, a tired/sleepy feeling and I felt withdrawn. It was doable but with an effort to stay cheerful. As each day progressed, the tired/sleepy feeling became more intense.
Eventually, I even had to give up doing my crochet as I couldn't concentrate on the pattern. I wasn't able to keep up with responding to emails I had recieved from caring friends or phone calls from loving relatives. At the beginning of the 5th week (last week), I was extremely tired, very moody, not much of an appetite and an overall feeling of "I just don't freakin' feel good!".... my hands and feet began to burn, tingle and itch...and the horrible itching spread over my entire body. The more I scratched, the deeper the itch dove causing it to itch even more. I called the doctor who told me to go off the pills. It's been 4 days since I've been pill-free and I'm still itching, though it doesn't seem to be quite as bad today. The great news is that I no longer feel tired, nauseous, moody or withdrawn. I'm nearly back to normal and I can't begin to tell you how good that feels!

I will have a CT scan in one month to see how things look.

Yes, tomorrow is my last day and, although it will be no different from the past 5 weeks, I already feel a sense of freedom, renewal...and anxiety. I have to learn to live my life without the fear of this cancer returning. That's going to be tough. Maybe without the therapies in my face each day, I can focus much more on other things. Your prayers are still so very appreciated!

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